I think God had a good chuckle at me yesterday. I was praying for patience and endurance according to 2 Thessalonians 1:4, and He gave me a day to show me a few things about myself.
The kids were awful. Michael was hyper and sensory, rubbing his face on everything including me, grinding and hitting, Gabriel cried all day (and at night too) and could not communicate what was bothering him, and William was teething and decided he wanted to be held and not sleep. A client called to remind me that a project was due, and my house was full of toddlers in the afternoon since it was my turn to host our homeschoolers’ preschool gathering. Talk about praying for patience!! Why would I do that to myself??
I tried. I really really tried. I managed to keep control and not crack too many times, but it was all contrived. My attitude was strained and less than loving. My prayers of “God give me patience right now” that I tossed up to the ceiling from morning till night didn’t seem to help.
Now, in the quiet of the morning, I’ve had a chance to reflect, and I can see that I was trying to be patient, and that’s never enough. It wasn’t the fruit of the Spirit flowing out of me naturally, but me relying on my own strength instead. I had to repent because that’s not how God wants me to do this. He wants His own patience and divine strength to flow through me effortlessly, the result of my changed character and the work of the Spirit.
So that is my prayer today. That God would work on my heart so that I would not have to try to DO patience and love, but that it I would just BE patient and loving as a reflection of what He has done in my life.
God is so good. After I prayed, He showed me this:
2 Thessalonians 2:13 “…because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth” and verses 16-17 “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.”
I’m so overwhelmed by how forgiving He is, and how much He loves me. His promises are amazing, and I’m thanking Him already for my new character because He has promised to give it. I almost have no words.
I’m looking forward to what adventures He has for me today! May your day be one of growing closer to Jesus.