Quick post today: I learned something on vacation. It seems like it should be intuitive, but I guess it wasn’t for me.
I need help.
I’m still learning SO many things about myself with regards to my own limitations. I’ve gone on for so long assuming that I function like those around me, and it’s just been in the last few months that I realize how different my brain is. The more I try to carry on like everyone else, the more I struggle and the more stressed I become. I don’t cope with things the same, and I have different stressors.
What this boils down to is I’ve realized I have no idea how to cope with my stress. This is not a mental thing I’m talking about, this is more of a physical one actually. In doing some basic research this morning, I learned new things about how in spectrum folks, the sympathetic nervous system isn’t disengaging and allowing the parasympathetic nervous system to turn on and actually bring physical calm back to the body after a stress has occurred. So in my life, all the random little things (in addition to all the crazy huge things that come with living with disabled children) that happen that folks can recover from (i.e. loud noises, unexpected phone calls, disruptions in the daily schedule, etc.), I’m not getting over them, I’m accumulating them. Which is why by the end of the day I’m usually a mess that needs some crying time under a blanket in a quiet room.
God has provided some wonderful young people to our family that like our kids and are VOLUNTEERING to spend regular time with them, and I am totally taking them up on it. I also plan to start researching help and information on adults (not just for my kids), and see what I can learn about things like organization and stress management for those with ADD and Asperger’s. I think if I learn how to function with the specific “bends” of my mind instead of just carrying on in the what always appeared to be the traditional way of handling things, my stress levels will go down. I’ll find counselors who deal with spectrum adults if I have to, but I am really excited about learning to cope with the things that go on around here. Usually my mind gets so overwhelmed that I just completely shut down and let chaos reign, and that’s not the kind of wife and mom I want to be.
So here’s to a new journey and learning more about how God made me. 🙂
I have to thank all of you for hanging tough with me this week. It was just terrible, one of the worst I can think of in a long time. The stress, the emotions, my own brain causing me pain and trouble every step of the way. This was a downright awful week in my life to have ADHD and Asperger’s myself, let me tell you! I had a meltdown about three times in the past few days, so let’s not even think about how many my kids had.
You, my friends, are all amazing. You let me cry, you give me hugs, you pray for me, you call me and Facebook me to make sure I’m still doing alright. I love that you’re OK with me being a mess and that you 100% encourage me and help me along the way. I absolutely would not survive times like these without you, and I am so incredibly grateful that God has given you all to me as my support team. You really are a vital part of my life and therefore in the lives of my kids as well. Not only are you letting God use you and giving me the strength to go on, but you’re also inspiring me to pay it forward when the boys are grown and it’s my turn to be there for someone else.
I made it to the end of my gauntlet, and now I get to unplug and run away with Nate for a few days. God bless you all, and really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all so very, very much.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
I keep praying for the Lord to show me what this looks like in my life, especially in these high stress days of no sleep. I think sometimes having the ability to reach out to someone who is greater and more powerful and in control than I am is a start. I figure the only way to truly know this aspect of Jesus though is to be in a time of unrest.
So here we are, I’m waiting for my lesson!
Today we have three therapy sessions, and I bought 40 pounds of chicken last night that need butchering. Should be fun. 🙂
Nate and Michael muscled through this weekend spectacularly. After 4 months of rehearsals, Michael was in his second Christmas pageant, this time as a little toy soldier. I have to be honest, I didn’t think he could do it. He’s been receding away from us more and more the last few days, and I wasn’t sure he had a double header performance in him, but Nate was beside him the whole time, helping him focus and comforting him when he got overwhelmed, and they made it!
Nate made sure to treat him to a box of McDonald’s french fries as a reward afterwards. Michael’s favorite!!
It’s going to be a hard week. I’ve always loved and looked forward to Christmas, but this year it will be difficult. Michael needs quiet right now, not a series of parties and family gatherings, and we need a lot of prayer and wisdom to help us navigate, strategize, and plan the smoothest way through this. And just to keep things more interesting, Gabriel’s got a cold. I have two very happy fellows on my hands!
To ease the pain, their Christmas present arrived early this year. A ball pit from their grandparents! it’s really helped them relax and unwind! I’m so grateful.
If you think of us, we need prayer this week. Here’s hoping you have a wonderful and stress free Christmas week!