I know I haven’t been writing as regularly as I would like here. Sleep training William makes me feel like I’m descending into my own personal circle of hell with all the screaming and crying and sleep deprivation. Every time I want to quit, he gives me a decent day or night, so we press on, but I have to say I cannot wait till this is over. I know it’s only been 5 and a half days, but it feels like a stinking year.
(Side note: To everyone who tells me I will miss these days, I smile and nod, but I just can’t believe you yet. Maybe one day wisdom and hindsight will teach me differently. I hope you’re right.)
I’m just sort of plodding along, trying to keep us all alive until that time when things are better, and this has unfortunately affected my walk with God too. Sometimes you just are too tired to have a good quiet time. But He is every loving and gracious and giving me what I need for each day, whether I realize it or not. Just this morning, I read the story in Matthew when Jesus tells his disciples to feed a crowd of 5,000, and they tell Him they can’t with only the few loaves and fish they have, but Jesus does a miracle and takes care of everyone anyway.
I feel like that now. Making it through a day with all the screaming, crying, meltdowns, and tantrums that happen regularly… well, you might as well be asking me to single-handedly feed 5,000 people. I tell God, I’m only working with four hours of sleep, two hands, and one very short temper. I just can’t make it stretch that far. But through this story, He is assuring me again, that whatever I have to give Him will be enough, He’ll take care of the rest.
Between you and me, I really can’t wait to see how He pulls this one off.