Take My Yoke Upon You

In the two weeks since my last blog, it’s like I was going through some sort of test to make sure I really meant all the things I wrote.  It was fun, let me tell you.

Everybody had a thing.  Everybody.  Michael lost it due to excitement stress, full moon, and who knows what else.  Gabriel uttered the magic words “my tummy hurts” (he just finished a round of treatment for Bartonella which among other things had inflamed his stomach), William suddenly lapsed into major abdominal pain like he hadn’t experienced for over a year (as in waking up in the middle of the night screaming hysterically for long periods of time), and Caleb grew two teeth.  Oh and don’t forget we had Thanksgiving and two birthdays.

I wanted to slip back into my old ways and figure everything out, and I did  do a bit of work helping my people.  I’m Mommy, it’s what I have to do.  But it was different this time.  Even if I could do nothing else but deal with crises while chanting “God, I’m putting You first” under my breath, I tried to keep my focus on Him.  I told Him I was going to trust Him and stay in His peace whether or not my kids got better.

It was blessedly different.  Usually I get angry and frustrated because I feel like I’m losing control of everything.  By telling God it was all in His hands and relinquishing control up front, I didn’t have anything to get mad over.  And He took care of stuff.  Not everything got better, but some things did.  Miracles happened, like same-day and next-day visits were available at our doctors so we could take care of William’s pain.  Gabriel’s hurting stomach was just his way of telling me he was hungry (that kid must be in a growth spurt or something, I hear “Mommy, my tummy’s hungry” about every 20 minutes), and Michael’s unwinding slowly.  Stuff’s not great, but I’m OK, and I’m trying to keep my focus where it belongs.  Every day’s different right now, some are hard, some are a little easier, and I’m still practicing my walk, but I’m starting to understand when Jesus said,

“Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

It’s true.  While all the drama around me is mostly the same, it’s just a little bit easier to carry.  There’s rest and peace for the soul.

It’s just what this mama needed. 🙂

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In It Again

Vacation was amazing and absolutely necessary.  Thanks to my in-laws, Nate and I were able to get away for eight days, which was a perfect amount of time.  I noticed I was so exhausted and wound up, it took me about four or five days just to relax and feel like a normal human being again.  It was a gift from God that Nate’s office paid for us to get away, and now that we have experienced the benefits of it, we are planning tiny breaks for ourselves in the future.

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This is us, when we feel like normal people. 🙂

So we’re back in it again, with the therapy and the yelling and the no sleeping, but it’s a little easier now once our cups have been filled up again, so to speak.  I find I don’t mind it quite as much as I did before and now I can give of myself to my family more when I’m not so completely drained that I’m just in self-preservation mode.  It’s easy to say we need a break periodically, but I’ve found that the execution is much harder and depends on the generosity of others’ time.  I am very blessed and grateful to be surrounded by a supportive family that is willing to sacrifice to help us out.

Here we go.  William is throwing food on the floor, Gabriel is slam dunking his breakfast dishes into the sink, and Michael has had a number of meltdowns this morning already, but that’s OK.  This is where I’m supposed to be.  Well, more specifically, I should probably be cleaning the kitchen, so have a nice day!

 

Where Are The Naps?

I think someone dumped Kool Aid in our water supply.  The kids have been acting like they’re all hopped up on sugar and red food dye.  They were actually flipping furniture yesterday.  At one point, I think I actually had to wrestle them into shoes and coats and drag them one by one down the stairs and strap their thrashing butts into car seats so we could make doctor and therapy appointments.  Fun times.

So the news from one doctor was that William’s liver is running pretty sluggishly.  Now we have to figure out how to get that up and running correctly, but hopefully that will correct a lot of his digestion problems.

We went back to our RDI consultant last night and basically yawned and stared our way through the meeting, but I think we’re making some progress.  Unfortunately Michael’s ADHD is becoming an obstacle in dealing with the autism.  We’re trying to figure out new techniques to work with him and temporarily slow his brain down, but that’s not going to happen until we’ve had a nap or two.  She gave us the talk about having to figure out how we’re going to take care of us right now.  I don’t think Nate and I can have that talk either until we’ve had a nap or two.  I’ve been sensing a pattern. 🙂

With this winter storm hitting, I’ve decided to just bunk up for the next few days.  We’re taking a break from school stuff and I’m gonna keep the chores to a minimum.  If Nate’s office closes, I’m going to see if we can fit a few naps in there.  I’d like it if we weren’t both delirious for Valentine’s Day.  Rest shall be the name of the game.

Hope you all have a fun long weekend!