Vacation Started a New Journey

Quick post today: I learned something on vacation.  It seems like it should be intuitive, but I guess it wasn’t for me.

I need help.

I’m still learning SO many things about myself with regards to my own limitations.  I’ve gone on for so long assuming that I function like those around me, and it’s just been in the last few months that I realize how different my brain is.  The more I try to carry on like everyone else, the more I struggle and the more stressed I become.  I don’t cope with things the same, and I have different stressors.

What this boils down to is I’ve realized I have no idea how to cope with my stress.  This is not a mental thing I’m talking about, this is more of a physical one actually.  In doing some basic research this morning, I learned new things about how in spectrum folks, the sympathetic nervous system isn’t disengaging and allowing the parasympathetic nervous system to turn on and actually bring physical calm back to the body after a stress has occurred.  So in my life, all the random little things (in addition to all the crazy huge things that come with living with disabled children) that happen that folks can recover from (i.e. loud noises, unexpected phone calls, disruptions in the daily schedule, etc.), I’m not getting over them, I’m accumulating them.  Which is why by the end of the day I’m usually a mess that needs some crying time under a blanket in a quiet room.

God has provided some wonderful young people to our family that like our kids and are VOLUNTEERING to spend regular time with them, and I am totally taking them up on it.  I also plan to start researching help and information on adults (not just for my kids), and see what I can learn about things like organization and stress management for those with ADD and Asperger’s.  I think if I learn how to function with the specific “bends” of my mind instead of just carrying on in the what always appeared to be the traditional way of handling things, my stress levels will go down.  I’ll find counselors who deal with spectrum adults if I have to, but I am really excited about learning to cope with the things that go on around here.  Usually my mind gets so overwhelmed that I just completely shut down and let chaos reign, and that’s not the kind of wife and mom I want to be.

So here’s to a new journey and learning more about how God made me. 🙂