I made it to Friday! I don’t know why this fills me with so much excitement as my job is 24/7, but still, it’s nice to know I made it another week. Everyone is alive and well, and that’s a good accomplishment around here.
Last week was ugly. I was in the pressure cooker. I was tired and in pain, and the kids were being tougher on me than usual. I sometimes like to think of myself as a tube of toothpaste (I heard this analogy from a pastor a long time ago), when I’m squeezed, what I’m really like inside come out
I didn’t like what I was seeing very much. Anger is a problem that’s been running in my family for generations. After years of struggling with a fiery temper, I gave it to the Lord and He miraculously healed me. I had a supernatural control for a long time. That’s been slipping away lately. I found myself so full of steam that I just had to vent, and here I was yelling at kids that I know had no control over their actions. I knew this when I was doing it, and yet I just had to blow off somewhere, and that’s how it came out. I just hate it when I’m like that. That’s not the kind of person or mom I want to be, and it just broke my heart when I saw my kids imitating my behavior.
Jesus said it. “Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”
I had to give my heart over to Jesus again. I guess repenting is something we will have to do continually and often on the journey of sanctification we go through in this life. It’s good in a way. It keeps us humble and ever throwing ourselves on the hands of the Lord. In His love and mercy, I know there is always forgiveness and healing, and He has already been changing me in this area again. I am so incredibly filled with gratitude, and not just for my sake, but for my kids as well.
Just because we are saved does not mean God is done with us. He longs to continue to work in our lives, bringing freedom and healing. Is there a place He wants to touch in you today?