I feel like God is having me let go of my expectations more and more. We go through life with these preconceived ideas of what parenting is going to be like (or how smoothly a Christmas holiday should go!). When my expectations don’t come true, I struggle and push and try to make them happen. I can get frustrated and even angry because things don’t turn out the way I think they should. It feels like the last two months have been one failed expectation after another. I’ve noticed I’m complaining a lot again, worrying why things aren’t turning out in certain ways.
God’s been having to reach in again, reminding me He has me where He wants me. It helps because I know I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else except His will. Sometimes it’s hard to let go, to mourn dreams you have to put down, but doing so frees me to embrace what God has given me in my moment. Living with gratitude is much more liberating. I feel like God is having to teach me this one over and over and over again.
I truly did enjoy seeing family over the holidays. We probably did overwhelm the children however. We did two trips over five days to see both sides of our family, and we’re having a rough re-entry. Michael has insomnia again, and Gabriel and William are fighting strep. It’s good to be home and just try to settle in and get everyone relaxed and re-acclimated and healthy. I have some good memories to hang on to, and I learned some lessons about how to help things go a little smoother next year. (All I can say is thank God for portable, inflatable trampolines!)
Here’s a funny family photo my aunt took of us at our annual Christmas Death By Chocolate event. I married into a totally awesome, fun family.
I hope you all had lots of fun with your families over Christmas as well. I’m looking forward to 2014 now!